Is it normal to be this depressed BEFORE your Birthday?

On Sunday, I turn 27. A shitty end to an even shittier month.

July was awesome, right guys? Wasn't July fucking great? The weather was amazing, I was on a festival high, we were working towards an exhibition, playing gigs with my band...I felt blessed to live where I live and have so many wonderful interesting friends.

Then August. Fucking August. 

Firstly, one of my very best friends and my closest ally in London is no longer speaking to me because of something I did. Losing her means losing many other lovely people who she is close to. Fuck.

Oh ya, and I am no longer singing with Private Lives. So there's that...

Exhibition ends, post-exhibition blues and aimlessness sets in.

Then there was the stress of finding a new flat (which I did, right by broadway market)...but now my insistence on living alone has created a major fear of the loneliness I might feel living in a little box with no one to distract me from my often depressive thoughts. Living alone SHOULD be good for me, but at the moment it seems incredibly daunting.

And now, to top it all off, I have a kidney infection and might need to be hospitalized. That means I most likely will not be attending Shambala Festival as I had planned. GOD WHY am I always sick?

All this 2 measly days before my 27th Birthday.

At times like this, I really really really miss my family and friends back home. It's easy to love the London life when everything is hunky dory...but right now I just want my mommy to hug me, tell me how great I am and that everything will work out in the end, and then rub my back until I fall asleep. Sigh.

Ok. So maybe I am whining. I DID just get back from 5 days in a Paradise called Amorgos.

I was there with my lovely friend Tonga, her INSANELY interesting mother Ywonna, and her cousin Rohan. It was just what I needed to SORT OF pull myself out of a funk. A lot of swimming, hiking, gardening and writing helped clear my head a bit...I feel slightly more ready to take on the world...Perhaps I just needed to vent. 

One beacon of light is that one of my films is now a top five finalist in the Kopparberg Klash and Vice Magazine film competition. The Finalists party, where they announce the winner, is at Queen of Hoxton on Wednesday Sept 1. Winners announced at 11. So come help me celebrate!

Oh ya. And birthday on Sunday. 27. Holy crap, how the hell did that happen???